Fertility after...a "Complicated" Pregnancy

While I don't tend to blog about personal matters...I am breaking that rule this time.

I taught my fertility education course early this year to a young couple who had just had their first baby.  Pregnant (again) and announcing that I already had four at home, they probably had cause to be suspicious when I said that none of our children were "surprises."  I can't say for sure, but the fact that they didn't return to the second class and wouldn't return my phone calls or emails certainly seemed to indicate a lack of faith in my method!  :)

So I'm putting it in writing.  Why do we have five children?  Not because Natural Family Planning--or the fertility education method I have developed "failed" to work properly---but because our marriage and family is filled with love!  We have five living children because there was never a reason to "avoid" having another.  Most importantly, we have a strong marriage.  Sure, we have our share of disagreements, but overall, we agree on the Big stuff.  We also have a good house, adequate food, clothing and shelter, and (gasp!) we like kids!

Unlike some women, I actually enjoy charting.  As a teenager, my body was a complete mystery, and not the good kind--more like a horror show.  I had undiagnosed PCOS and endometriosis--two conditions that left me filled with questions that no one bothered to help me answer, despite trying on several occasions to get medical help.  When I learned how to chart my signs of fertility, I finally had answers; I finally began to understand what was going on inside of me.  After years of never knowing when I would get my period, (could be waiting anywhere from 5 weeks to 3 months!) NFP gave me this basic and important bit of information.  Since marrying my dear husband, I have welcomed the challenge of learning the minutiae of charting so that I could predict by the 7th-10th day after ovulation if I were probably pregnant.

Around this time last year, I realized: we have been so blessed...  We have four healthy children and we've had four normal, healthy pregnancies and four normal, healthy births... 

At the time, many friends of ours were struggling with infertility, pregnancy and infant losses, difficult births.  While some may disagree, I had a feeling that to be given the blessing of (relatively) easy pregnancies and births and healthy babies carried some responsibility to use these gifts. 

Despite this sense, it was not our goal to get pregnant again.  In fact, at the time it was my conviction, based on my charts, that my PCOS was getting worse, so I began to use a variety of strategies to counter it, for my own long-term health.  It also looked like we had experienced two very early, unconfirmed miscarriages during the year before this.  As a fertility educator, it is my opinion that these possible miscarriages were due to lower levels of progesterone as a consequence of the worsening of the PCOS, as well as my advancing age.

Though it was not our intent to become pregnant--as I wrote above--we also had no serious reason to avoid pregnancy.  My motive for charting was to simply track my health, not to postpone or achieve pregnancy.  No big surprise therefore, that we found ourselves expecting a new baby again when I was began to use a variety of natural means to enhance my health!

Overall, the first 30 weeks of the pregnancy were a breeze.  I often felt like I had more energy than ever!  However, after 30 weeks, things changed.  As it turned out, I developed pre-eclampsia and in order to avoid the heart-breaking possibility of stillbirth, as well as the terrifying possibilities that I could have seizures, go into a coma and possibly even die, baby and I had to have our pregnancy ended prematurely, when he was induced at 36 weeks+5 days.  It was obviously the right decision, and thankfully, our baby came out strong and healthy.  I was not so healthy, but the last few weeks I have been getting stronger each day.  I thank God for the blessings of a healthy baby and returning health.

However, sadly, this history means that now we do have a truly serious reason to avoid another pregnancy.  My risk of having another pregnancy complicated by pre-eclampsia, with the same risks for fetal and maternal mortality, are quite high.  All of a sudden, we now find ourselves in a different group.  From a blissful 13 years when NFP was no more than a means to confirm when a new baby had come into our lives, we now find ourselves in the group who actually need to use NFP to avoid pregnancy (unless a prevention or cure for pre-eclampsia is found).  I plan to share (in a discreet way) the effects that this change of status has on our marriage and family, and for me personally.  I have created a new blog where you can read more about our journey, if you wish.  It is at www.remainingopentolife.blogspot.com 

I am glad that I had the time last year to develop my own fertility after childbirth course, because it gave me a lengthy period of time to study this subject intensively---information that I now need for myself!  I welcome comments or questions, personal or general.  My motive for doing so is that I hope that my own experiences, as a wife, mother, as well as a fertility educator, will be helpful to others.  You may post comments or questions here, or send me an email through the contact us page on my website: http://www.stcroixbirth.com/