My Reflections on Unassisted Childbirth

As you may know, I'm currently writing a home study course on birth. Yesterday, I wrote a bit about unassisted childbirth. It should be apparent that when it comes to birth, I hold some fairly anti-mainstream positions. I am pro-midwife ("every mother deserves a midwife") and pro-homebirth, for the vast majority who can safely plan a homebirth. However, I am concerned about the rise in popularity of the "unassisted childbirth" (UC) movement. My honest opinion is that the UC movement would not stand a chance if homebirth midwifery was fluorishing. Here's why.

For some of you reading this, the idea of a mother intentionally planning on having no one but her baby's father and perhaps trusted friends on hand during a birth is a perposterous idea. For others, there may be rage that I would question this birthing option. Here's my stance.

90-95% of the time, birth will occur completely normally, without help from anyone. Most women could, if necessary, birth their own baby with their own hands without the help or aid of another person and, most of the time, both would come out just fine. Therefore, the UC'ers have statistics on their side. Most UCs will be normal, straightforward births, with undoubtedly a huge rush and sense of pride: we did it---despite all the naysayers and worryworts!--and all on our own!!!

I'd like to get personal and set out my own grapplings with this issue, then I'll close this post with some general thoughts, as a childbirth educator.

I considered, quite seriously, attempting a UC with my last birth. I was attracted to the idea of the intimacy of the birth. I almost had an unplanned UC with my second birth because it went very quickly and the midwife almost missed it! In retrospect, this was my easiest birth and my only "ecstatic" birth. During my last pregnancy, I compared my second and third births and thought: I liked my second birth better---maybe just plan to do it ourselves this time??

But I thank God for my level-headed husband, who said no. Why am I thankful? While the first stage of the birth went virtually painlessly (honestly), the second stage (pushing) was anything but. My son's head was a full 14-1/2 inches (that's 11.7 cm--so much for 10 cm being "complete"). His was a half inch bigger than my third baby and an entire inch bigger than my second baby!! I am a very petite woman. I have a smallish pelvic outlet. It was a very very tight squeeze, let me tell you. In the midst of this incredibly hard pushing stage, I gave up. I insisted that we go to the hospital. Had it been a UC we would have. I know that my dear husband would not have said, "No, honey, even though you want to give up, even though you've been pushing and pushing, and you're in pain and exhausted, we'll stay here a little longer." Let's be real, there are very few husbands who want to see their wives in pain, and even fewer who would prolong that pain, knowing there was an alternative. And I suspect there are even fewer men who want to take the rap for making the wrong call and NOT going to the hospital when that really was the right decision. My midwife SAVED my birth. She was the one with the experience and skill who knew I was just wimping out and said: no. I have no doubt that if there was the slightest hint that the situation needed medical intervention, she would have been the one to make that call. But she knew everything was going normally, that baby & I were tolerating labor just fine, and that I needed someone to get me to focus on birthing that baby and not looking for an easy way out. That's what a good midwife does.

UC is a myopic movement. Midwifery appears across cultures. Midwives have been with the human race for almost as long as the human race. There's a reason. Several reasons actually. Safety. Experience. Wisdom. Skill. While over-management of birth has turned the normal life event of birth into a potential crisis, let's not throw the baby (or in this case, the midwife) out with the bathwater.